I can't even handle it.

I really wish Baby Gap could make this swimsuit just a teeeeeny A LOT bigger so that I could get one too. Is it not the cutest thing ever? Is SHE not the cutest thing ever??? (You don't have to answer that. That's just the crazy mom talking.)

I am in awe of this girl. She is learning so much lately and I'm so blown away by the constant talk/babble coming out of her mouth (things like "bay" - baby, "pa" - light, "min" - "moon", "mine" - mine :), how she knows exactly where to point when we say "mama's nose/eyes", "daddy's beard/nose" and "outside", her constant dancing,  how she's learning what "hot" means, how she gets so excited to play outside, how her walking gets better every day, how she's now trying to jump in place, how she now has 13 teeth!!, her sweet little voice...her chunky legs...her smile...her curls. I would love nothing more than to just bottle her up at this age (I'd throw out the tantrums and crappy sleep but that's neither here nor there) and keep it forever. Everything about her is happiness and I am so grateful for her and the privilege to watch her learn and grow every day. We are so completely in love with you, little girl!!

Sappy post brought to you by our makeshift pool day yesterday, a la Brittany :) Violet's future husband Harrison seemed to love this pool-in-a-bin so I thought she would too. Not so much. Being outside in her bathing suit was happiness enough for her and for me too.

I'm back! :)

 1. Quality time with my girl before I left

2. Ronnie was busy being single dad for a week

3. Meanwhile, mama did a lot of boozing and schmoozing (work, too!)

4. The big girl and the fun mail I came home to.



I'm so happy to be back and back into my regular routine!! I had such a great time and the event was a success but I am worn the hell out. It always takes me a week or so to fully recuperate after every one of our events. It was so so hard being away from V all that time and even worse was coming back to a child who looked like she had changed SO MUCH. Her hair looked longer, she was talking more than ever and she stared at me for a full day as if she was pissed that I'd left her. It wasn't this hard when I left her for 10 days when she was 8 months old - she had NO idea I was gone and I don't feel like she changed nearly as much back then. This time around was tough and really makes me dread my even longer trip this coming October :/ But all complaining aside, it's my job and I have to do it for my family so I'll keep on keeping on! I really am so so grateful for my job.

Ronnie was a champ at holding down the fort while I was gone and I am seriously lucky to have him! They had a great week together but I know he was even more beat than me when I got back on Friday night. So, Saturday I took V to my cousin's baby's 1st birthday party and spent some time with her at the park afterwards (with my parents too) so that he could have a few hours to himself. I know he needed a breather. Then Sunday, Mother's Day (my second one!), Ronnie bought me my favorite breakfast ever (Bill Miller's!) along with their coffee AND sweet tea. Best surprise to wake up to. He left for a few hours of volunteer work so it was just me and the babe and we had fun catching up :) That evening he took her to his mom's and I had the entire evening TO MYSELF. Best gift ever. Funny how it works out that way on Mother's Day.

Monday was a vacation day (thanks to the best bosses ever who knew we needed rest) and we did pretty much nothing. Ronnie's now out of school for the summer so the three of us just ran errands, grabbed some food, grocery shopped and made another stop at the park. It's pretty much our favorite thing to do nowadays to wear out that child :) Every time we go though, I see just how much she's grown compared to the last time we were at the park and I kinda hate it. I never realized how quickly she'd turn into a toddler and then how at this point, it would fly by faster than EVER. I'm always reminding myself how fleeting these moments are. And many times, I just cry about it. A growing baby is so amazing but can make you feel so sad! Time for baby #2?? ;) (just kidding. not even a chance.)

Hope everyone is well! Thanks again to Rhonda and Kali for your guest posts while I was gone! I hope to get back into some regular blogging soon. I missed you guys!

Nail Files + Mani Tutorial!

I'm on my way home today and I can hardly freaking wait to kiss my girl and my baby daddy. I'm also super excited to have such a nail pro guest posting for me today! Thank you so much, Kali for your post, I LOVE this mani! Go say hi to Kali! 

Hello lovely ladies, and Happy Friday! I'm Kali at Kali Now Living and I am honored and excited to guest post for Jessica. I love her blog, really love the adorable pics of Violet and pretty much need her sense of humor to get me through the work week. Let's wish Jessica a safe trip home!

I've been addicted to nail polish for a few months now (ok, not really but kind of) and really look forward to Friday's Nail Files link up with Tara and a few other great gals. A few weeks ago I shared a tri-color spring mani, and I've had several requests for a tutorial. It's pretty much foolproof and easy as 1, 2, 3, 4!

Start with a base coat. Add two coats of your favorite nail polish color and let dry. Add a diagonal stroke of your second polish color, working from the side of the nail towards the center. Let dry. Working from the opposite side of your nail, add another diagonal stroke using your third color. 

This manicure features Julep's Helen, Toni and Zelda. I'd love to see what fun color combinations you come up with and hope you all have a great weekend.

Fictional Kind of Love

I'm so happy that Rhonda offered to take over for me today. When I saw her post, I knew this was just another reason her and I are friends - boy. crazy. I still am. How about you? Be sure to go pay Rhonda a visit! There's more where this came from! :)

Big love goes out to Jessica for having me over to post on one of my favorite blogs! If you aren't familiar with me and my blog, Hepburn & Houndstooth, here are five facts about me.

    

1. I am the mother to 3 boys and the stepmother to 1. 
2. I can drink most men under the table. 

3. I am a fitness and health lover (and blogger). 

4. I am a gay-lovin', Jesus-lovin', Obama-lovin' liberal Democrat small-town Southern girl. It doesn't make a lot of sense to some, but it's just right for me. 

5. I would rather blog first thing in the morning than sleep. 

So, let's talk about something fun, as I love to do. Heavy material here this morning, folks.

I have been collecting TV boyfriends since I was a kid. Hello, Randy Taylor.

 
I was certain he and I would be together forever. Then Home Improvement went off the air and I was at a loss.

Good thing I found others to keep me warm at night.

Don't get it twisted, I love my husband. However, I'm pretty sure that these characters would want to be my man if they, you know, existed in real life.

Seth Cohen    He was just the sweetest and I miss him every day.      Chuck Bass    Polar opposite of Seth Cohen, Chuck Bass is my bad-boy boyfriend. What an ass. I think I love him.      Michael Scofield    Loyal, sacrificing, and and a genius? Mmhmmm.     Cappie (Captain John Paul Jones)    Forever a funny, smart, and at times immature, clown. We were meant to spend a semester together.     Neal Caffrey   Um.... what was I going to say about him? He's so... pretty. Oh, and clever, witty, intelligent, and the the HOTTEST white collar criminal ever. I think he's The One. 
Come over to my blog and tell me about your fictional boyfriends!

Happy Birthday, my love!

Happy 32nd Birthday to Ronnie!!

I have no idea what I did to deserve this man. I truly don't know anyone who is funnier, smarter, more hardworking or loving. I completely lucked out with him and so did Violet :)

i hope you have a good day with our girl and your family. I hate that I'm not there with y'all but I will make it up to you. One day down and just four more to go until I'm back home. Thank you for being the best friend and partner I could have asked for and for being the perfect daddy you are to Violet.

We love you so much, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Heading Out!

Hey, friends! I'm currently at the airport waiting to board and head to Las Vegas!! Holla! Ok I'm not really excited about leaving V behind but I am ready to get this show on the road and have it be Friday already.

I've never told you much about my job and have always been vague about my trips but the gist of it is that I work for an event management company and we plan two events a year - this one I'm going to is a smaller education conference and trade show (about 1,000 attendees) and our large event in the fall is a trade show only and has nearly 20,000 attendees. Both are juvenile products shows so I am immersed in all of the latest and greatest in baby products. Be jealous, moms ;) I never used to care about any of it obviously until I had V and now I'm super grateful that I get to work in this industry. So that's that. While there I handle the company social media accounts among other things so that means I won't be logged into my personal accounts much. (Though I'm sure I'll find a way ;)

I will have a guest poster on Wednesday and another on Friday - I hope you'll show these ladies some love! Take care and see you next week :)

Before I leave!

Thanks to all of you that reached out on my last post and shared your "'mom guilt" stories with me. It's something that really bothers me but I know it's normal and it helps to know I'm not just crazy :)

-- So first off, I would just like to note that last night my child actually slept through the night!! Halleluyer!! Ronnie did inform me that she woke up once but quickly went back to sleep - apparently I slept through that. (hashtag: momoftheyear) I woke up this morning and stared at her for like 20 minutes wondering if I was dreaming or not. It was totally real. And she's now my favorite child EVER.

-- We are having the most amazing weather here right now! Our high yesterday was in the 50's and today we're in the 60's. It is just so perfect! I think it's hilarious that this kind of weather is what maybe people up north consider Spring like. To us, we're bringing out the coats and talking as if we got a last bit of "winter" weather.  ha I friggin love this weather, winter or not.

-- Have you heard the new Fitz and The Tantrums album? Gah. I'm so excited about it.



 -- I leave to Las Vegas on Monday for my first work event this year and part of me is excited but mostly I'm just dreading leaving V. I know she's in the best hands and it's "just" 5 days but ugh, I don't wanna do it. I know this is last minute but if anyone would like to guest post for me while I'm gone, I'd love to have you! I would need posts for next Monday, Wednesday and Friday. (I'm not going to do posts the whole week.) The post wouldn't have to be anything specific - just talk Pinterest, DIY, jewelry, nail polish, neon, drinks, WHATEVAH.  Just keep it light and fluffy :) Also, I'd need it by tomorrow night!!

I'm off to finish off a shit ton of work that I have to do before we leave the office today! Then I have to go home and prepare for the garage sale I agreed to having tomorrow. I'm pretty sure Ronnie drugged me at some point to get a "yes" outta me. And then in my "free time" (ha. What is that anyway?!), I have to actually pack and get ready for this trip. Yowza. Wish me luck!

Happy Friday!!

this mom guilt thing.

You know me, I'm usually all fluff on this blog but then there's days like today where I just need to talk. And I need to talk about Mom guilt. It is freaking REAL.

This "mom guilt" business is made especially worse when you're already the type of person that feels guilty so easily and when you always feels the need to explain. I am that person. I hate that person.

Now that I have V, I feel like every little mistake I make (and there are plenty) is completely ruining her and her life already. I know that's ridiculous but in that moment, it doesn't seem silly.

Being a working mom just adds to this guilt that I feel all the time. My MIL watches her Monday-Thursday all day and some days it feels like she is the one practically raising our child! How could I not feel guilty? I know this is just where our life is at for the moment (me working, Ronnie in school) but that doesn't make it suck any less. I don't have a job digging ditches or teaching a class full of wild kids but I work hard ALL DAY at what I do and by the end of the day, I am beat. And that's just when my day really begins! It's when I go home and am expected to be super awesome fun mom.

At least that's the expectation I've put on myself - it doesn't always happen that way.

Sometimes I get impatient, I whine, I just want a FREAKINGSECONDTOMYSELF, I cry, I raise my voice - all things I said I would never do as a mom. But I am freaking tired!!!! is usually my excuse when I've screwed up yet again, as if that makes it ok. It's not ok.

Yes, things have changed tremendously since she started crawling and then walking and just in general become a wild little maniac. She's no longer a little baby in my arms or rolling around on her play mat. Things have become just so much more and I am tired but that still doesn't make it ok. She's only this small for such a short time and I already feel like it's flown by so quickly.

To make things worse, I leave on a work trip next week from Monday-Friday. FIVE DAYS away from my child. FIVE DAYS where it's all on Ronnie (and his mom will help too, of course). FIVE DAYS where I don't have to take care of her and I get to sleep. I should at least be excited about that part but I feel nothing but guilt. This is my job and we so desperately need the money I earn on this trip but honestly? I could just curl up and sob about it.

All of that to say, I need to learn to just suck it up and be BETTER.

I need to breathe more, I need to focus less on myself and my exhaustion and more on her and the moment we're in, I need to remember that I'm not a fuck up as a mom (sorry, the F bomb was necessary), that I am giving it my best, that I work every day for US and I especially need to remember just how special this mother - daughter relationship is. I need to remember these things every day.  I am the only mother she will ever have and I need to just be BETTER.

Fellow guilt-ridden moms - how do you deal??

and this is why I love weekends.

This working mom thing really blows sometimes.

 

But then I do things like take a vacation day and we get a 3-day weekend together and all stress is forgotten.

 

Friday, we took V to her first Fiesta event - Mexican dress and all. I can't even handle the cuteness. The dress was huge on her but it was just so . damn. darling.

 

The parentals got to enjoy some beer (ok, one each.), bratwurst and good conversation while V took in the scenery and did some roaming around. Then the crowd and the freaking humidity showed up so we were out. I'm just glad we finally made it to something for Fiesta!

Saturday was spent lounging around together and then taking V to the park. We stopped at the large park near our house where we had her birthday party, but it was crowded and there were too many unsafe areas for a newbie walker. And for the newbie walker's parents' nerves.

So we headed to the rec center at a nearby neighborhood, pretended like we lived there and had at their playground. (It's not like they asked for proof or anything and hey, it was empty ;) There was a huge open space, a basketball court and a playground so V just had the best flipping time walking around wherever she wanted. Per usual, the swings were a hit :)

Yesterday was the day we finally cleaned house, which I had been neglecting all weekend.

But to be quite honest, I'll sacrifice a clean house any day to have more time with these faces :)

How was your weekend?

A happy weekend.

This weekend...

The weather was PERFECT and I realized I could totally live in Texas forever and a day IF our April weather was always like this. But it's not so that's a talk for another day ;)

On Friday, we dropped this cutie off with my MIL and I got to have a REAL FREAKING DATE with her hot daddy. That's a big deal, y'all - our last date (alone!) was months ago. We went to a place called Josephine Street Café and having passed it oh, about 1000x in our time, neither of us had ever tried it! It was so good and so fun to have a real sit down meal. And we got prime patio seating. And the weather was perfect. (Have I mentioned that?) And the date was perfect. And the conversation was just so needed. Aaah, more of that please.

Since we spent a lot of time outside this weekend, this gave me the perfect lighting to obsess over my newest nail polish (Revlon Girly). It's just so well, girly, and so pretty in the sunlight!

On Saturday I shipped off packages to mamas who bought from my IG shop last week. Let me tell you, I am SO grateful to everyone who is buying from me. This has seriously been an awesome experience! Going to the post office on Saturday mornings (and getting breakfast on the way + spending about 45 minutes to myself) is a fun new routine for me. That night Ronnie made us some zucchini patties and OH EM GEE. Tastiest health food evah. Ronnie wasn't too happy with them because they fell apart so easily and just didn't look great, but I LOVED them. I'll share a recipe soon if anyone's interested!

And if you were wondering what V was up to ;) She spent her weekend attached to her "phone" (the remote), playing in her new "toy" (courtesy of the best daddy) and she hung out with me all day yesterday while I helped a friend unpack at her new place and also helped her open her own IG shop!

In between all of that, I caught up on the Dallas finale (holy crap.), started Downton Abbey Season 2 (I am completely in love with it, y'all) and did some cleaning and organizing. It was probably one of the best weekends we've had in a while :)

How was yours?